Friday, December 20, 2013

LET THERE BE LIGHT (some of the time) & HAPPY CHRISTMAS HOLDAYS MERRY NEW YEAR (and all that pc shit)

There is a streetlight near my porch.
A cowardly thing it is.
Never knows whether
it can handle the pressure
of being a light in the dark or not.
For years It has turned off
every time I spit towards it.
it will try to come back to life.
Dim to orange to full light
Being spitting mad
lends itself to the darkness
quite nicely.

© M Durfee


All hail the wassail. The belly busting brew that gets one through the season of cheer with nary a care or a smile at having to shop the miracle mile for gifts and presents that once opened are cast aside, well at least until the giver dies, then they are mementoes. All hail the wassail.

© M Durfee

Here is another Friday 55 to show what a pissy mood I get into when I try to hibernate from Halloween to MLK’s birthday and I keep getting woke up by muzak. Here is a link to G-Man the master of clever 55’s.


6 small Fuji apples, cored
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup water
72 ounces ale
750 ml Madeira
10 whole cloves
10 whole allspice berries
1 cinnamon stick, 2-inches long
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
6 large eggs, separated


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Put the apples into an 8 by 8-inch glass baking dish. Spoon the brown sugar into the center of each apple, dividing the sugar evenly among them. Pour the water into the bottom of the dish and bake until tender, about 45 minutes.

Pour the ale and Madeira into a large slow cooker. Put the cloves, allspice, and cinnamon into a small muslin bag or cheesecloth, tied with kitchen twine, and add to the slow cooker along with the ginger and nutmeg. Set the slow cooker to medium heat and bring the mixture to at least 120 degrees F. Do not boil.

Add the egg whites to a medium bowl and using a hand mixer, beat until stiff peaks form. Put the egg yolks into a separate bowl and beat until lightened in color and frothy, approximately 2 minutes. Add the egg whites to the yolks and using the hand mixer, beat, just until combined. Slowly add 4 to 6 ounces of the alcohol mixture from the slow cooker to the egg mixture, beating with the hand mixer on low speed. Return this mixture to the slow cooker and whisk to combine.

Add the apples and the liquid from the baking dish to the wassail and stir to combine. Ladle into cups and serve.

Read more at:


  1. ha. dont be too hard on the knows no better...
    ha. the worst part of muzak is when it gets stuck in your head and you cant help but sing along...ha...ugh....err...think i might skip the drink and stick to my eggnog....

    1. That light is afraid of me Brian--go figure--all I did was cal a city repair crew 10 months ago that never showed up. Eggnog just typing the word makes me gag bro.

  2. I really like the cynical voice of your poem, the observations of the object reveal much of the man.

    Your recipe for wassail sounds perfect for the cold winter nights.

    1. Hi Kerry---ask anyone I do not have a cynical bone in my body ("they" keep telling me it's all in my head.

      I can't claim that recipe for Wassail. I quit drinking 15 years ago. But the original recipe was more like empty all the dregs of the hard cider kegs into a pot, throw in some wormy apples and loot the lord of the manors liquor stock and dump it all together---just don't use too much heat you don't want to vaporize all that alcohol.

  3. I'll stick with the Apple Pie Moon Shine Thank You!!
    But I LOVED your Spitting 55
    No matter what the subject matter is Mark, you write from your heart!
    You are always good for....The Real Deal!
    Thanks for playing, thanks for your friendship and support
    have a Kick Ass Week-End and Holiday

    1. Odd Galen i thought you'd take your shine straight and white from the mason jar.Heart is all I will have left when the attorneys get done with the city so I may as well use it while i have it eh?

  4. I really want to hear you read your stuff sometime.

    As for the wassail, mine comes in a margarita glass -- salt, please -- and a seemingly unlimited supply of chips and salsa. A wee bit of smoke wouldn't hurt, either.

    We all have our crutches.

    There's a streetlight across the street from my place that does the same, preferring to wink. I imagine it does so only when I walk past -- it knows things, this light -- but I suspect it does for all writers.


    1. Pearl, I quit reading in public about a year ago. I want you to hear the words in your own voice, make each "I" you.

      I don't use alcohol or hobbit weed anymore, I prefer naps and being pissy.

      Hell Pearl if you walked past me I'd do more than wink;I'd do a full Sir Walter Raleigh.

  5. For a minute there I thought you might be feeling more festive than me. Naaaaah. Couldn't happen.

  6. You know you're a bad ass, man, when the light is afraid of you! This has to go in a story, my friend.

    1. Probably should Charles but lately straight prose is elusive.

  7. I'm not big in to sweets, but might I recommend a surgical rubber slingshot and stone for that street light ?

    1. Heff, my friend, this is Detroit we use either a 9 mm or a 12 ga. if something annoys us. Big headline in the paper today for the third time in thirty years we're on track for less than 350 murders. Of course the ones that did happen were particularly gruesome.

  8. Love your battle of wits with the light, Mark. I guess the light is too dumb to know it's lost before the battle begins.

    So...did you? Did you dare to make the Wassail? It sounds rich and would definitely scent the house with that Christmas-y scent.

    1. Whoa Kim what are you saying I am only as bright as that light at it's best? Hmm OK I can accept that.

      No I don't drink alcohol. I worked at the Detroit Institute of Arts for a few years and every year they had a Wassail festival in the main court. I don't think this was the recipe they used though because the next day we'd be finding vomit in some of the strangest corners of the museum. I think for that they just took all the booze from the curators desks and dumped it into one big pot. Curators are notoriously cheap so you know it was all bottom shelf liquor.

  9. I'm with you in the HIBERNATION stakes Mark. This season is NOT jolly for so many: more like jolly awful.

    1. A kindred soul finally! Rest well Phillip we have a week of near silence between the 26th and 30th.

  10. Attaboy, you show that street light who's boss!
    Loved the poem.
    I've never tried a Wassail, but with 72 ounces of ale, I don't think I'd give a flying flock about much of anything!

    1. Hi Cara. That damn light knows who is boss. I think it's afraid I am going to walk my 80 pond dog over there; she flows like the Niagara river once she gets going.

      I think you should brew up a batch and get that as talon said "Christmas-y" smell going. Just remember not to hot why make it if you're going to vaporize the wass out of the ail?

  11. Mark-Isn't it wild that YOU of all people have finally unearthed the Wassail ingredients for me? xo

    1. Consider my spelling prowess and vast knowledge of arcane stuff and the ability to use Google my gift to you Jodi. With your earthy upbringing I know you'll do it up right.

  12. You in a pissy mood, nah? :) I like the idea of gifts being cast aside until they become mementos--that does ring true. And the Wassail... that sounds good!

    1. Right on Jeff, I never have anything to be annoyed about. That's why I keep a stash of Valium on hand at all times.

      Brother you are the one who cooks outside in the winter still, I say you should go for it, just remember to try to count the sugars in the Quart of Medira and Beer and apples and shoot insulin before you drink it.

  13. I do a kind of Swedish wassail here called Glog. It is wickedly good. Haven't done it in a few years though because everyone that comes over is sober now, and my wife is happy to be without booze for several years now.


So Walking Man I was thinking...