Tuesday, November 19, 2013

SO TELL ME MISTER DURFEE HOW DO YOUREALLY FEEL ABOUT YOUR MOTHER?


JUST FUCKING DO IT (AGAIN)

You don’t know
what anything is like until you try.
The high is in the try;
success is the sweetness
of knowing
you can climb to places
once thought too out there.
Falling too, can be fun if you
like the wind in your face
and
don’t fear starting the climb over
as many times as it takes. 

© M Durfee

11.19.2013




PROFILING

I sat in the office
was probed through every orifice
of my mind long enough
for my ass to hurt
from sitting in the hard back chair
I requested,  
answering simple questions
easy enough to answer
but difficult to hear.

Deafness it seems is become a universal trait. 

Fuck it,
nothing’s changed.
still crazy as a shit house rat
after all these years of pretend sanity. 

I don’t think she thought being
a non-junkie, un-self destructive
recovered alcoholic
poet
was exactly the right kind
of fuck me up therapy for me.

All I wanted was a script for some valium

not a fucking biographic interview.
To save time for someone else
I tried to sell her my books .
she was to broken herself to buy them.

 

© M Durfee

11.19.2013

 

11 comments:

  1. we are all broken...ha maybe she will eventually buy...in our journey we find each other a bit...the falling comes with the climbing...together they make life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have lived my life Brian, the things left that I'd like to do are physically impossible now, but I have few regrets.

      Delete
  2. Seems that it gets a little harder as I get older to start the climb over

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you know it brother. I have simply stopped. For the last year or so i have isolated myself away from almost everyone I know and care about. I just don't have it in me anymore to want to "belong."

      Delete
  3. No one gets out of here alive or unbroken--paraphrasing a Jim Morrison quote. Haven't been to a therapist in a few years. Only one ever really understood what the problem was. And I kept saying my wife drinks too much and I am filled with fear-no one heard but one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Syd..I thin it was 86 or so when the intake therapist kept asking me that question about my mother. My mom was a hero to me but they just wanted to get all Freudian on me. So I went all Detroit on them. I must have been having a bad evening because it only took 3 people to get me off that ass.

      That is what i truly dislike about therapy and therapists and shrinks, 30 doctors 30 diagnosis's 30 treatment plans.

      Delete
  4. I hope for some I was that one therapist who hears Sydney.

    What's going on, mark? You okay ?

    Love
    kj

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kj I'm OK except for some personal quirks of not liking life as it has evolved but that wasn't why I was there giving my psychological history, which is quite colorful by the way. I just needed a script for Valium which I have been using for over a decade to mediate muscle pain.

      Delete
  5. Learning how to fall is harder than learning to climb. Learning that it's okay to fall takes a lifetime. Your doctor needs that, methinks...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously I use Valium for muscle spasms and pain, the VA though still considers it a strictly psychiatric drug. It's cool it isn't my first evaluation rodeo. *shrug*

      Delete
  6. Mark-it all gets back to our mothers. Dane once told his therapist to fuck off when he tried to blame me for everything. xo

    ReplyDelete

So Walking Man I was thinking...