Thursday, November 21, 2013

LOVE IS HARD

And when the light of understanding
dims in the eyes of them beloved,
taken over by a ghost of knowledge
known of a world only being in can see;
can any enter into those places
to be
known,
touched,
felt?

Let the light shine brightly
in your own eyes outside.
See the human in that
withering trunk
know the
fearless
trekked
lived well
place born anew within,
fearless ‘cept for loneliness.  

Wandering old pastures, mountain saddles
known only jungles of memory
that once experienced
never get cut away even though
they cannot easily be shared anew
only warped with the time.

Understand love is not dead
only understood differently.

© M Durfee
11.21.2013

18 comments:

  1. I guess I have to get used to the idea that love changes form, like the body itself as we age

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    1. The only sign of love alive Charles is in it's evolution. Even if it's only giving dignity to a cadaver and not the becoming a parent to a parent.; the love will evolve.

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  2. Wow.

    I have been tryling to articulate this feeling state for years!

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    1. Maybe I have just seen to much recently Ivan.

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  3. A different place, never understood really ~ Specially like this part:

    See the human in that
    withering trunk

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    1. Grace my grandmother lived to 105 and around 102 the look in her eyes changed and I stopped being her grandson but became her older brother Simon. She liked him well enough but she was bossy with him.

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  4. great last couple lines there esp...it is just different...love is ever changing as well in expression and feel...there is a maturity that happens....sometimes making it all the sweeter...

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    1. Brian love is one of the mystical proofs of evolution. It will if true, evolve as the needs for it changes.

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  5. Fearless, then consolation at the end. Thank You, Mark


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    =^..^= <3

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    1. Cloudia I am to old to fear the changing mind and heart but young enough to still offer a simple solution. Understand and flow as you always have.

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  6. Beautiful and oh, so touching, Mark. I don't know anyone who hasn't been affected by this...

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    1. Kim we are coming to that point where as a generation we have to decide between caring for our elders ourselves or paying to park them somewhere. I do not have any memory of any one of my kin folk dying in a nursing home or hospital. I wonder if I am as strong as my mom was.

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  7. I have seen that light fade in my father's eyes - the sharpest guy I knew, almost like we were strangers to him at one point. I fear that it'll happen again. I cherish each "bright" moment with my mom.

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    1. I was fortunate in that regard Deb, my mom really did not lose her being until maybe a week before she passed. Even then though I could see that she was looking at me, understanding that I would help her.

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  8. I like what you say, just as important, I like how you say it.

    My father passed away in May, he lived with dementia for 20 years, he was 84 when he died. I purposely don't say he suffered from dementia. One lives, period. Actually he was more of himself with it then he was without it. Odd thing to say, I suppose, but it is accurate. It was if he was reduced to the essence of himself -not burden down with angst and anger of trying to make it, trying to provide -the idea of worry had be completely erased. The last three weeks of his life were horrid for him -as he began to sense a change was coming. As agonizing as it was to be there an watch, I would not have wanted it any other way. He died at home. The songs and hymns all speak in some way of going home - so dying at home is an option, not an easy one but a good option.

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  9. HUDSON I have a desire to either die at home or in the wilderness, either or would work, not that by then I'd care.

    I know exactly what you mean when you said he was more himself with dementia than without it, the loss of worldly concerns or knowledge of them is a liberation that few know while they live in this space. But we call them demented or touched in the head, maybe we the younger and "normal should take a lesson.

    I hope the loss of your father has become easier on you as time has passed and estate and probates got all settled. Man that shit I have found can bring out the best or the worst in people.

    Either way find your own path, the one that works for you.

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  10. I would like to die on my boat when I am very old. I just hope that I have my mind so that I can remember all the good times on it.

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  11. Mark-as the one year anniversary of my Dad's death approaches, I can just be thankful that his passing was fast and noble. xo

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So Walking Man I was thinking...