Monday, August 12, 2013

HOW MANY TIMES DID WE TELL ONE ANOTHER I LOVE YOU--EXACTLY THE RIGHT NUMBER



CATCH YOU THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU DAVID
Death came knocking at your door David, how I wish it were only to do a little peeking but no the old charmer he came seeking. How that old creature got past your multiple layers of locking security is well and far beyond the understanding of me. I don’t know, nor much care how it was the old dude killed you Dave, only that you were way to young at fifty seven to blaze your trail into the heavens, but oh how usual of you to go alone, no notice, not even a call on the phone.

Oh how we must have looked like fools to you, the old lady and me shifting between deciding to do some window breaking, crime scene creating or more cop waiting. I bet you were laughing your ass off when I called 911 for the third damn time and let the boss there know that he better send a man or two in blue over now, now fucker, no more priority rated stops---three hours was enough time to be fucking crazy waiting for a couple of cops to show; how I told him we’d be responsible for the houses security if they had to break in even if I had to sit smelly and dirty all night with my twelve across in my lap. Jesus Dave the cops themselves once inside marveled at the personal arsenal, loads and caps you had in there, seriously I wouldn’t have needed my shotgun, dude you had three.

I’m going to miss you mister and don’t you worry anymore about any damned thing, especially your year younger sister, I got her. The family you wanted but never knew how to be much a part of is gathering now; from here on forward they’ll take care of everything.

Good bye Dave, we never said the words “in law” to one another other, we always called each other brother and we were; but thank God we had different mothers, I’d hate to think of incest with my wife. We never had any walls between us in life. I’ll miss you Dave, the serious attitude and weird sense of what you called humor, that snicker heh heh laugh—men like us, Dave, we learn how to live with what we get and we always agreed if life bites you in the ass, fuck it, what’s another scar won in life’s bet, keep going forward, that direction always gets you toward—

some fucking place.

You don’t have to scar up anymore Dave; you found your way undaunted and opened the gates to the house of your ancestors where I am sure you have the peace you always wanted with them of your family who went ahead, those that left before you did. For now brother all you have to do is sleep in peace and wait. And by the way fucker don’t tell no lies to Peter at the pearly gate, it won’t be funny if he locks the door in my face.

3/24/57-8/11/13

20 comments:

  1. smiles...a nice good bye or send off you gave dave...glad you forewent the in law and just went brother....heh, wonder if st peter would join in some practical jokes...smiles.

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  2. Sorry for your loss, mark. Dave is obviously a path clearer and I'd bet he will pull you up when the time is right

    Who knows what saint Pete might do on a slow day? :-)

    Love
    kj

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  3. A bittersweet farewell in a prose/poem style that really touches us.

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  4. Mark-What an honest farewell. I can picture you standing there, shaking your head and saying all of this. St. Pete will know all about you from Dave, so you better clean up your act! xo

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  5. Mark, I'm sorry for your loss and your family's loss. Death is gonna come knockin' for all of us and I hope someone writes a eulogy as honest as this for me when it's my turn.

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  6. I am sorry for your loss Mark ~ This is touching & heartfelt tribute to your brother (in law) Dave ~ And I like the title too ~

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  7. A bit of a story of a life. Maybe some folks will see themselves there and take heed.

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  8. Always hard to lose a soul mate. There's so damned few of them.

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  9. So sorry, Mark.
    Sounds like you loved each other good.

    A three hour wait for 911 response?? Outrageous!

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  10. I am so deeply sorry to read of the loss of your "brother". You've written such a tender eulogy...your have such a good heart. And you still have his sister. :) RIP David.

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  11. Very emotional in your own way, Mark. Brothers chosen are more precious than brothers given.

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  12. I love this, and I envy you for obvious reasons ... thanks ... and thanks for the comment on my last blog post, Mister Walking Man Mark :)
    I tried posting a pic/ poem of my daughter a few times now, but can not bear seeing it more that 1 day. My post "Clown" is still in the blog somewhere, if you'd care to look. In the mean time, I'll stick with your eulogy, if you let me (swear words and all). Love you, Master Poet, cat.

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  13. Sorry, that's all I can say. Adding anything else to your beautiful prose would be offensive. To you and Dave. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  14. I guess Rosaria Williams (above) pretty well articulated what I meant to say about your poetic requiem. The memories. And goodbye Dave.

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  15. Again, I'm truly sorry for your loss. This was such a cathartic piece. Hugs to you...

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  16. I must second ivan's reference to Rosaria's comment.

    I learned a long time ago that
    Death
    Don't Need a Key
    to Your Front Door.

    Stay Well, brother.

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  17. like HAL said: i can't let you do that, dave...

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  18. I wish you all would have known Davie as his sister and I did. He never quite figured out that you can choose your family, that genetics do not make kin. He died of cancer that he decided to not treat because he felt unloved by many of his sisters and brothers, and especially his mother.

    He never realized that he made a family among them he lived near and constantly helped. It was his neighbors who broke down and wept as his relatives cleaned out his house, seeing no value in the things he surrounded himself by. Oh the guns and truck, stereo and computer were quickly claimed by his blood sure enough but the little things, the nicknacks, the little clues to his humor and sorrow were disposable.

    Davie's family all have a great fear and revulsion of death, them that wanted little or nothing to do with the chain smoking drunk on holidays, but never returned a birthday card or Christmas gift from him could not bear to look at him as he lay in his tub water running three days dead would not go in to give a positive identification.

    I am happy it was me, I am happy my wife covered his body with a blanket as she wept not wanting him to be gone, cold or alone anymore. He died alone but he also died wrong, he was very much loved, only not by most of them he wanted to be loved by.

    I may seem to be being hard on his family, but after 30 years of being treated by them and my own family in much the same way I understood his need and wants. At the end, he only needed to be alone knowing that we would make sure he was taken care of. And he was.

    He now sleeps easily in the garden of the creator waiting for his day to rise as a bright star in the night sky that all will look at and marvel over. Davie is dead to this place he tortured his soul over for so long, but he is alive in a place of no more misery or pain, in the hearts of them that honestly loved him.

    Thank you all for your kind and funny words, Joann read them, you made her cry with your kindness towards a man who was a stranger to you but family to us, may all of you live your lives in peace and joy being loved by them who know you and understand you.

    Be Well

    mark

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  19. Your brother Dave sounds like a good fellow. And what you wrote about his things and those parts of him that were his humor and his life--well, that brought tears for me. We leave behind things that were important, clues to who we were. I'm glad that he had you and his sister to love him regardless of his quirks. I find it odd that families don't know how to make peace with those they don't try to understand. One of my first cousins died estranged from the family. He was thought to be gay, and they wanted no part of him. As a child, I remember him as being good to me but conflicted. I hope that he found love eventually, but it didn't come from his family. Dave knew that you loved him. That's good. He knew that you would take care of him and you did. Maybe he didn't want to fight cancer because he wanted his time remaining to be clear. Who knows? He is part of the greater energy now.

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So Walking Man I was thinking...