HOW MANY TIMES DID WE TELL ONE ANOTHER I LOVE YOU--EXACTLY THE RIGHT NUMBER

CATCH YOU THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU DAVID

Death came knocking at your door David, how I wish it were only to do a little peeking but no the old charmer he came seeking. How that old creature got past your multiple layers of locking security is well and far beyond the understanding of me. I don’t know, nor much care how it was the old dude killed you Dave, only that you were way to young at fifty seven to blaze your trail into the heavens, but oh how usual of you to go alone, no notice, not even a call on the phone.

Oh how we must have looked like fools to you, the old lady and me shifting between deciding to do some window breaking, crime scene creating or more cop waiting. I bet you were laughing your ass off when I called 911 for the third damn time and let the boss there know that he better send a man or two in blue over now, now fucker, no more priority rated stops---three hours was enough time to be fucking crazy waiting for a couple of cops to show; how I told him we’d be responsible for the houses security if they had to break in even if I had to sit smelly and dirty all night with my twelve across in my lap. Jesus Dave the cops themselves once inside marveled at the personal arsenal, loads and caps you had in there, seriously I wouldn’t have needed my shotgun, dude you had three.

I’m going to miss you mister and don’t you worry anymore about any damned thing, especially your year younger sister, I got her. The family you wanted but never knew how to be much a part of is gathering now; from here on forward they’ll take care of everything.

Good bye Dave, we never said the words “in law” to one another other, we always called each other brother and we were; but thank God we had different mothers, I’d hate to think of incest with my wife. We never had any walls between us in life. I’ll miss you Dave, the serious attitude and weird sense of what you called humor, that snicker heh heh laugh—men like us, Dave, we learn how to live with what we get and we always agreed if life bites you in the ass, fuck it, what’s another scar won in life’s bet, keep going forward, that direction always gets you toward—

some fucking place.

You don’t have to scar up anymore Dave; you found your way undaunted and opened the gates to the house of your ancestors where I am sure you have the peace you always wanted with them of your family who went ahead, those that left before you did. For now brother all you have to do is sleep in peace and wait. And by the way fucker don’t tell no lies to Peter at the pearly gate, it won’t be funny if he locks the door in my face.

3/24/57-8/11/13