Friday, July 12, 2013

THE WISH OF A MUNICIPAL WORKER ABOUT TO LOSE IT ALL



There is no word to describe
uncertainty shorter than
fear.
I am not uncertain for my own future,
I have thought it through
I only need four more years alive
to secure my partners ability to survive,
after that I do not give a fuck for this life
I don’t fucking care. I fear no death or dying .
Just let her live on away from the constant commotion,
lack of quiet, the strikes, the strife.

But the today fear in the one I love is palpable,
it’s true I can’t earn much
but it doesn’t make me fully incapable.
I haven’t had that many Ali hits to the head.
I want four more years to make my dreams upon my bed
then it won’t matter if I am living or dead,
I will have completed my promise
 to do my best to ensure she will be taken care of.

God damn ain’t it bazar and crazy this long lived thing called love?
I have to force myself to live for those years so the woman of my life
can then live somewhere not here, with an old broken down
pissed off motherfucker who lives basically only purpose is
to collect a well-earned disability check.

I wouldn’t say that life sucks every day for me
but I despise
the slowness of answers coming, the uncertainty.

And all you goddamned political and business flouting crooks
who put me in this rook position who are on your way to prison,
I hate all of you son’s a bitches
who gave up honor and morality for worldly riches.
I despise that you fools will have court given
better housing, meals, and health care living
than I and my wife will be able to afford.
So as a final word before they slam the gate
“Fuck you too!  My fervent wish
is for you all to get gang raped.”

©M Durfee
7/12/13

14 comments:

  1. I always hope the lying cheating scumbags get what they truly deserve in this lifetime, but so often it seems they skate merrily on their way. Hopefully, though, there is some form of retribution.

    Hope the weather doesn't continue to give you more pain, Mark. It's finally not so humid here...I wish it would stay like that all summer!

    ReplyDelete
  2. the things we do for love & commitment, its oft for them we keep going, though to see a few politicians in jail, i might live for that day as well...um, strong close...but them they will know how it feels...

    ReplyDelete
  3. ... that's why I wrote paradise ... and walking out of it hand in hand ... looks like you don't have a hand to hold at this time ... so just keep walking out ... might find somebody walking out at the same time ... o, and no need to use the F ... so much ... it's pretty nice to walk your own way at times ... believe me ... Sweet walking man ... :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I rather wish at times I had your outlook on things. Death scares the hell out of me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Could love be enough reason to stay alive -- guess it is.
    Wish I could pour some happy on your head and rub it in.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not to disparage powerfully felt emotion, honestly expressed, but it seems the way you feel is the same with me, every morning, before I've had eight cups of coffee and a hell of a lot of keyboarding. Occupational therapy? Seems to do the trick so far.
    It seems to get my fa-faculties together. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. lets hope the mofos get what they deserve, and you, bro, have your wish of at least four more years...

    had i the ways/means to help you, you know i would, in a new york minute....

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope that you live for a long time, Mark. And that you and your love can get the hell out of there and live some other place where the air is fresh and there isn't the crime and noise and other stuff that messes with peace.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been away Walkin' man, it is good to return and see you are the same. Stay Well, and keep writing. For, oh let's say 7 more years?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your devotion to your Lady is deep and dearly touching. I am so sorry that this path has been so difficult for you and by your suffering so difficult for her.

    I glad they (who ever that is) are sending a person to jail for the mishandling of funds. Perhaps they will lose the key. One can only hope!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mark-only the good die fucked? Giant hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Last week, as I was driving up to the UP, NPR was having a program about Detroit's problems and I was thinking that you need to call in...

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a sad state of affairs ~ Isn't it what we do (to hang on) is for our loved ones ~

    ReplyDelete

So Walking Man I was thinking...