THE WISH OF A MUNICIPAL WORKER ABOUT TO LOSE IT ALL

There is no word to describe

uncertainty shorter than

fear.

I am not uncertain for my own future,

I have thought it through

I only need four more years alive

to secure my partners ability to survive,

after that I do not give a fuck for this life

I don’t fucking care. I fear no death or dying .

Just let her live on away from the constant commotion,

lack of quiet, the strikes, the strife.

But the today fear in the one I love is palpable,

it’s true I can’t earn much

but it doesn’t make me fully incapable.

I haven’t had that many Ali hits to the head.

I want four more years to make my dreams upon my bed

then it won’t matter if I am living or dead,

I will have completed my promise

 to do my best to ensure she will be taken care of.

God damn ain’t it bazar and crazy this long lived thing called love?

I have to force myself to live for those years so the woman of my life

can then live somewhere not here, with an old broken down

pissed off motherfucker who lives basically only purpose is

to collect a well-earned disability check.

I wouldn’t say that life sucks every day for me

but I despise

the slowness of answers coming, the uncertainty.

And all you goddamned political and business flouting crooks

who put me in this rook position who are on your way to prison,

I hate all of you son’s a bitches

who gave up honor and morality for worldly riches.

I despise that you fools will have court given

better housing, meals, and health care living

than I and my wife will be able to afford.

So as a final word before they slam the gate

“Fuck you too!  My fervent wish

is for you all to get gang raped.”

©M Durfee

7/12/13