Tuesday, December 27, 2016

SLOW ROLL IN AN OLD CAR



SLOW ROLL IN AN OLD CAR

Man I could drive this neighborhood
every night
for the rest of my life.
It will still show me some shit
I have never seen before,
or shit I saw—
but passed by silently.

Darkness comes
crawling out in its
deep bass tone
burned up,
boiled out,
well baked
normal.
It’s not ominous.

It is though
boring,
tiring,
at times deadly
for them who pay tribute to
dying.

The darkness is all that’s noticed,
the abandoned is easily forgotten
by them who never had purchase,
no stake, no life here when it was light.   

Death
of anything,
body,
city,
culture
is not a ticketed event.
There is no room for patrons
or party goers;
only the stars of the moment shine
while staging an event
the world easily ignores.

God, go ahead,
damn the moment I realized
I never had a family in this place.
It, this arena of dying cityscapes
is not meant for—
any that refuse to be here.

Of course it is just as certain,
I never had family
wherever they went off to.
I know I was there
when they were born,
or wanted to be.
From the moment I drew breath,
I forgot something—or never learned.

Not all can drive these streets
and see life in the dark.

© M Durfee
12/26/16

24 comments:

  1. There is a lot of ugliness out there.

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    1. Yes there is Jeff and that was my juxtaposition between the place I live and the family I do not see.

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  2. Pieces like this let us see where the noir impulse comes from. The mean streets is cliche but sometimes it fits.

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    1. Charles if I was trying for the voice I most likely never would have accomplished it. It is though I agree the right note for the expression of my mind in this instance.

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  3. i don't quite follow this, mark, because it sounds like you can see and not see. i am so sorry your neighborhood has been abandoned. that is so sad and so wrong.

    "From the moment I drew breath,
    I forgot something—or never learned."

    family has been my main word this year. it matters so much to me. i hope this is true for you too, because in the beginning middle and end the intimate circle of love is not that large.

    i love you always, mark
    kj

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    1. kj, honestly I have blood kin not far off, but the relationships are merely lukewarm. The kind where one would show up for a funeral and not bad mouth the deceased or moan over lack of close relationship.

      All of my siblings were brought up in the same household I was and I moved out and away first but wound up back in this city as they all left it for pastures I could never feed in.

      As to the seeing I can see where they are blind and remain willfully ignorant of the nighttime of their places.

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  4. nice.
    hope you have a have a great 2017 my friend!

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    1. Thanks Justin, I will consider it great if this time next year I have survived the foolishness that is my life.

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  5. May the New Year be a good one for you!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you e and may the same wish return to you a hundred fold.

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  6. Excellent, Walking Man. To an enlightened 2017 ~ huzzah ~ !

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    1. Thank you Erik. I find that I am in a rush no longer with the poetry, able to sit on it, consider it for longer periods of time as it germinates.

      An enlightened 2017? I wish we had the social capacity for enlightenment. But here's to the road we will walk down.

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  7. Darkness is a long scar ~ Perhaps its always been there but never seen fully.

    Cheers for a good 2017~

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    1. Grace if I know anything I know scars. Darkness I humbly submit is a blanket for them who can find reality's comfort within it. I see about equal amounts of daylight and darkness and find the silence of the night a comfort.

      May 2017 uphold your wonder my friend.

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  8. If you have no family there, then what a place in which to fetch up.

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    1. Alice we would have to set about defining the parameters of "family" I have blood and legal kin within a 110 mile radius. I rarely inhabit the same space as them. I fetch up where I am not where convention insists I be.

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    2. I ended up here because it's the place my dh wanted most in the world to be. I can't imagine anyone wanting most to be in Detroit.

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  9. Quite noir, as Charles said. Great piece, Mark.
    Here's to a better 2017, with health and happiness if possible.

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    1. Cora I think I just hit on the tone like a person in the desert stumbles on an oasis that is not a mirage. I like it but I'm not certain I could repeat it.

      Yes, a better 2017--what all that would entail makes me shudder but here's *tink* to it.

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  10. Not all can.

    Powerful, Mark. This felt like it could be a voiceover for a movie...noir, like Charles and Vesper said. The solitary observer, seeing the squirming of life in the shadows we miss.

    I hope you have a good new year, old friend.

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    1. Sarah I wish I could say the narrative voice was by intent but truthfully I just got caught in the flow of the language. I appreciate the characteristics of the syntax and grammar of Noir style but not sure I truly comprehend it as something deeply ingrained.

      Thank you for your wishes, may they return to you three times over.

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  11. Don't know what's better, friend Mark ... living with them or living without them ... i'm no longer looking for them ... it's better that way ... for them and for me ... Love, cat.

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So Walking Man I was thinking...