Sunday, May 15, 2016



There may be (or not) a heaven I will be sent to
but it won’t be filled with any slot to gamble for
gold(en) virgins or singing cherubs.
No, not for me, that ain’t so kind
of a god damned heaven!
That would destroy my blossomed mind.
That is a place I’d hate, if that be the space,
turn me and my useless ass away at the gate.

If that kind of shit is my eternal fate
then leave me be, let me lie in the dark dirt,
or spread my cold ashes dead forever far
outside of that heaven’s door.
Give me the Elysian,
the place where warriors roam,
long called the honorable home.
I have paid the boatman again and again while I live
so then here and now; fuck it I have no more to give.

If I cannot make it across the Styx by boat
or any other border moat or land
because of my fucked up life
is adjudged built on sand
then leave me be to rot
here in this earth of war and strife.
Let me be for the fertile soil to know
in death I prefer to be a bit of ripening
for the seedling of life where hope may yet grow.
That is a crooked heaven’s gate made straight.

© M Durfee


  1. Fluffy clouds and harps would kill me *grin*. Think I'll go with you.

  2. I like this a lot. Echoes the way I feel.

  3. Heaven as a reward for good living is a form of bribery. Although I hold to a belief in eternal life, I don't think we can understand from this side. However, I do like the image of taking a boat to get there.

  4. PS, I'm going to link this to my current post as they have a bit in common (I reviewed a book by a woman who worked in a crematory).

  5. Well said, Mark. I'm right there with you.

  6. I don't buy that heavenly cherubs but would love to scattered as seeds to the fertile soil ~ If only some people would understand the foolhardy thoughts, perhaps we can have some peace ~

  7. I just hope the music is good. Shoot me if there's rap or hip-hop.

  8. Barb I guess someone's idea of heaven may be rap and hip hop, but like you it is banned from my eternal space--enough is enough in this mortal realm.

    I think the wonder is those of us who write--prose or poetry--who are not pandering to a religious system all feel pretty much the same. It can't be anything like the imagery presented in the ancient texts, most of which have been perverted by systemic belief structures.

    This is my truth, my desire, best dead once dead than alive forever listening to church music and souls telling me why I am only a toilet cleaner in the golden palace.

  9. Mark-Heaven was explained to me as our own personal peace where we want for nothing. Sounds good to me! xo


So Walking Man I was thinking...