Sunday, January 3, 2016

PLANNING A VACATION?



THE CITY OF TOO MANY NAMES A PERSONAL PERPECTIVE ON HALFS
Having read so many times about containers of glass being half empty or half full being equated to perspective and always being curious about interrelations to:
this le détroit du lac Érié,
this Paris of the Midwest,
this City of Trees,
this Arsenal of Democracy,
this Murder Capitol of America,
this 140 sq miles currently called Detroit,
this most racially segregated area in the United States.
This city of too many fucking names.

Now there is no doubt about it, Detroit is trying to live up to its priest given motto:
 Speramus meliora; resurget cineribus (which could be translated “much sperm, regenerating for a succubus”)
I mean after the 400 year old story of Le Nain Rouge my translation would make sense because of the curse that Red Imp placed on the area after kicking Detroit’s founder, Antoine de la Mothe, Sieur de Cadillac ass for being a wise ass prick.

No Speramus meliora; resurget cineribus given by Fr. Gabriel Richard (the first and last saintly man to live in Detroit) after the fire that leveled the city in 1767 actually means

We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes

Well now after nearly 50 years at attempted gentrification some shit is rising from the ashes. 7.6 sq miles of shit actually has been gentrified with another 5 or so in the works. That works out to about 12.5 sq miles of a 140 sq mile city rising from the damned ashes.

I have taken it upon myself to name the newly gentrified area:
this Disney by the River

Of course working out the math I really don’t think the glass can be called half full, maybe a third full if you go by population because Detroit retains a smattering less of its peak population of 1.9 million people. But if you go from the actual reality of sprucing the joint up there is only dregs left in the damned glass seeing as most of the city is violent, inhabited by the insane, the criminals, the foolishly hopeful, the very impoverished, and me—the comfortably cynical. Now if cynicism were to be what’s in the glass then that son of a bitch it full to the brim.

Surely what other city in the world has the police chief actually told residents to buy more guns? Why the man was even on the cover of the NRA monthly rag, though I don’t think he did any nude shots with a small revolver strategically placed to allow him his modesty/ Funny thing about our police chief is he isn’t really a cop, he has no policing powers, because he never even after 40 years, bothered to pay for his certification once he hit command rank. The guy has been around though 3 years as a rookie in Detroit, then LA, Portland Maine, Cincinnati OH and finally coming back to Detroit (lapsed certification and all) to earn his 4th police pension.

What other city in the world bends over frontwards for crooks who wind up doing decades in jail and then says “Fuck Me, we didn’t think you really were going to fuck me.”

What other city with a half full glass has a city council where the members spend half their time calling each other names (Shut up Shrek, I’m talking”) Oh that was Monica Conyers soon to be former wife of the US house of Representatives longest sleeping member John Conyers, MonCon also went to prison for a year she sold herself for a thousand bucks, which was better than the council woman who sold herself for 16 pounds of sausage. (get your mind in the gutter, 16 pounds of meat is a lot)

But then that was all before we were named:
this City which presented the Largest Municipal Bankruptcy in History.

Now that name alone presents us with a glass less than half full, empty actually but what is in a few words they found the money to pay off billions in debt to insurance company, banks and large bondholders. Of course that money was found by taking it all from individual bondholders and pensioners (except the police chief and a few other elected and appointed officials) to the tune of $14 billion bucks which at least half filled the city glass but more than half emptied a few, some 23,000 personal Styrofoam cups. (made in china of course).

So now I am confused: Detroit, is its cup ½ full or ½ empty? The newspapers are trumpeting the fact that we didn’t have too deadly a year when it comes to murders only something like 310 down from a peak of 734 in 1974. Some people must be doing very well because rents for a 1 bedroom apartment in Disney by the River are going for close to $2000 a month but you can rent an entire house in the lawless slums for around $600. Of course you get no amenities for that $600. Amenities like a landlord that pays property taxes or water bills and you do have to supply your own gun and ammunition, preferably cheap ammunition so it doesn’t penetrate the roof of neighboring houses during the annual 4th of July and New Years free for all fire at will drunken gun brawl with the sky.

I simply don’t know; is the cup ½ full or ½ empty? There’s plenty of us niggers living in the slum and a bunch of hipsters living the Detroit dream in Disney by the River? I think if I take my cup and piss in it from my porch I could fill at least ½ of it up, if I have good aim and have a whole pot of coffee in me to build more pressure than any lawless land fire hydrant.

Detroit:
this City of ½ measures.


© M Durfee
1/3/2016

20 comments:

  1. I often see conservatives mention Detroit as a "gun free zone." Apparently that's not the case.

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    1. Gun Free Zone?!?!? Bwahahahahaha There are more guns in Detroit than there are people. NOLA has a lot of guns but Detroit has a LOT of guns.

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    2. Actually Charles usually a pacifist by upbringing I now own a Colt 45, a Glock 43 and a Mossberg 500. Hopefully more for show than go but I have trained up to a 90% accuracy rate.

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  2. Nice rendition of the status of present Detroit, up close and personal and with that gritty sense of humor too. Disney gets around, having bought the Star Wars franchise and beating all sales. We are, after all, so jaded by bubbles and lights and the smell of new paint.

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    1. Rosaria, you are so correct about the paint and lights. when they throw the switch at night in Disney by the River the ooh's and ahh's are deafening. Though out where I live in the slums most people look at them as opportunity to hone their skills in the fine art of thievery and con artistry. I actually went down there twice last week--once to a free meal in a good restaurant, which made my wife sick for two days after and to pay my damned winter taxes. That was enough Disney time for me.

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  3. Write what U want, meowpapa ... does not matter, cuz U love Ur city ... In other news: Day 3 4 me with out smoking ... so far so good ... smiles ... Love, cat.

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    1. Meowmomma--no I do not love this place, I am chained to it by experiences that will not let me go. OK it's been over a week now--did you make that first 7 days?

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  4. Skinny jeans and Whole Foods, welcome to the new world order.

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    1. Yeah Justin, now I want to move to the Marathon district, cigarettes haven't killed my lungs maybe toxic air can do it. Although I think Disney by the River will do it much faster.

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  5. Lots of grit and smoldering affection.... it must be a terrible wonderful kind of thing, to love a place and hate the bullshit and to keep seeing them intertwined. You get a tough message across very well.

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    1. I have words H. only words. I shun power beyond them, I will ride these rails most likely until I die ever hoping to see a glimmer of goodness.

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  6. good god mr walking man, only a man tethered to some kind of crazy love could write the truth like this. i hope detroit is able to offer you some hard earned peace before you take your leave.

    well written, graphically pathetically sad.

    love to you as always,
    kj

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    1. kj Thank you for the concern but I doubt I have much capacity to recognize human peace anymore. I don't love this place, though I do respect them who make their way here without a handout or up. Sad yes, pathetic yes but not the place, it's mostly the people.

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  7. Keeping it real. How refreshing.

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    1. Hi Beverly--I see you tracked me down, welcome. You too know the truth of it, I am resigned after a lifetime of watching the decline trying to hit the brakes wherever I could, that they overheat quickly and then fade to non existence.

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  8. What a tragic and sad painting of the city Mark ~

    I hope 2016 will be good nevertheless to you and your family ~ All the best ~

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    1. Grace--yes brutal, tragic though? We live with what we have en masse allowed. The seeds of flowers planted are swiftly eaten by the vultures.

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  9. Mark-well, that pretty much sums it up. Being the victim of an attempted car jacking a few years ago, my 'reality' was checked. Half empty for now. Let's get a full cup soon!




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    1. You know the truth of it Jodi--but I honestly do not see any improvements on the horizon in my lifetime.

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  10. Wait. The founder of the Paris of the Midwest got cursed for being a wise ass? Ok, I buy that. But I didn't think Detroit had enough money to interest Disney.

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So Walking Man I was thinking...