Thursday, January 22, 2015

KNOWING WHO I AM



LOSING HOPE
I daily lose a little
Change, desire, love.
The shirt ripped from my torso.
Memories are murdered.
Torn from my bared chest.
There is only now.
Yesterday is gone.
Tomorrow may never come.
Today is a curse of loss.

© M Durfee
1.22.2015

22 comments:

  1. Unflinching. Well done


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    <3

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    1. Cloudia, surely my friend you know i do not flinch anymore. It hurts my neck to bob and weave from my heart and its present state.

      Love you too.

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  2. Murdered memories. We do that, don't we -- and too often, we do it to ourselves.

    Can't figure out if I prefer that to having them manhandled by those who claim to know...

    Pearl

    p.s. 60 degrees in the house is acceptable but brutal. If you need me, I'll be steeping in a hot bath.

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    1. I love it when people manhandle my memories pearl specifically because they never realize they make them better than the relity really was, if i remember correctly that is.

      One get's used to 60 by going outside in the pajamas with just a light hoodie for a smoke. After 5 minutes in 10 degree weather 60 feels like 80. of course one has to smoke a lot.

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  3. I don't worry about my memories. I worry about my hopes

    Good brevity in your words, mark
    Love
    kj

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    1. kj, sometimes kiddo there is a need for short sentences to convey my hearts being, its state. I don't understand what you mean about worry for your hopes. That seems to me to be fearing you will lose hope. *shrug* don't fear what has not happened. That's all I know, regardless the state of being DO NOT fear it.

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  4. But it does tend to simplify things.

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    1. Having things simplified and having things go simply are two different realities Alice, i am stuck in the first while trying to reach the latter.

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  5. Replies
    1. There is a lot of what's on my mind of late mixed into those 6 words Grace. Another funeral, more upheaval in the city, more people squandering hatred against what they do not understand, people defending the indefensible. It never ends, loss seems to be the emerging king of the 21st century to me.

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  6. but today is all we have for sure...

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  7. Memories are murdered...how sad but I get it, and yes there is only NOW. Powerful little piece. Is there any hope?

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    1. Yes Ileana there is hope if that is the chosen path, having hope is not a shameful thing but being in a place where hope is disregarded for the sights and sounds surrounding one is also not shameful, it is a safe path.

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  8. True words, Mark ... especially in these dark, and o so short January days ... I know ... but don't you worry ... spring will come ... and beggars will sit at the street corners again ... and if they are begging for food or a blanket or sing a song with them ... or invite them to one of your poem readings ... that way you can give again ... I know, I will ... you? ... smiles ... love, cat.

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    1. Meowmomma--Giving I think used to be one of my strong suits but as i age i see them with far more give far less, so I try to give in a different more secretive way. i don't wonder over the seasons, they will come or go whether i want them or not, they all pain me and pleasure me. Love you too.

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  9. or today is the day to make new
    memories...knowing they too will go into the burn pile
    at the end of today...preparing a way for tomorrow...

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    1. You make it sound like a good reason to own a snow shovel in winter Brian, clear the path only to have to do it again later. *shrug* I have forgotten most everything I ever knew except for what I am today, and i sure as hell do not know what I will be tomorrow. The one thing never promised is a future.

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  10. Today is all there is... That last line is haunting...

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    1. For me vesper, there is no tomorrow or yesterday, nor do I want either. In the bible it says Why worry for the morrow sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. I have found that to be quite true.

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  11. Mark, don't take away my memories....xo

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    1. Never would or could Jodi. I have never walked your path, only you can bare your chest and let time remove them.

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So Walking Man I was thinking...