EVERY TURN MEANS
CHANGE
Somewhere back behind I walked away from all thoughts of me.
Everything I had been brought up to be, the loser, the failure, the stupid one.
I began subtly at first to think of you, how it is that what I do affects you.
Change never comes easy especially as I began to see how everything went wrong with me. Loaded up with expectations of things I could never be, not forgiving my past held my true I from becoming what I was born to be.
Now as the days pass bringing me ever closer to the day I die, I know that the change is complete with my thoughts ever thinking of you first not I. I am become one, the only me, I was ever meant to be.
Change never comes easy especially as I began to see how everything went wrong with me. Loaded up with expectations of things I could never be, not forgiving my past held my true I from becoming what I was born to be.
Now as the days pass bringing me ever closer to the day I die, I know that the change is complete with my thoughts ever thinking of you first not I. I am become one, the only me, I was ever meant to be.
It has been a road long and hard, pained for sure but always
walked to know a pure freedom few before have come to see; to feel the presence
of you walking along, strolling through the ups and downs with me.
It would be so much better if this road was not so empty but rather so full of many that only once thought of me who’ve come to be thinking, living more like you. Easier it is to know I will die having thought more of you than I.
It would be so much better if this road was not so empty but rather so full of many that only once thought of me who’ve come to be thinking, living more like you. Easier it is to know I will die having thought more of you than I.
© M Durfee
1.10.2014
DON”T MESS WITH MY
SMOKE
I went out in the balmy morning, the sign said ten below,
pshaw! It felt more like fifteen, twenty ‘neath zero *shrug* I’d been there
before. I didn’t care that tree limbs were crackling with cold as the wind
bumped them. I only began to give a shit when my cigarette stuck to my lip.
© M Durfee
1.10.2014
This is a 55 word (exactly) story for the maestro of 55 word
stories, Galen the Good, knight of the oblong table. This is the link to his place of odd, prose of 55 words.
hahaha...it only matters when it affects us personally...and your cigarette froze to your lip might be bad...pulling it off at least...lol....
ReplyDeleteon the first, that is the beauty of longevity as well..becoming who we were meant to be...and with them...
If I could smoke 'em and keep the tips dry I'd never have that problem Brian.
DeleteWe need more than longevity Bri, we need to want to know that no matter the circumstance one always walks with us.
LOL good thing it wasn't a beer. Love the first one. Can relate.
ReplyDeleteOr a super market brand diet ginger ale...damn this sobriety thing. hhahahahaha
DeleteI think it's true Carleton "too late smart..." but I also think that compassion the sooner learned the sooner the honest love comes.
better lip stuck to a cigarette than a tongue stuck to a metal pole.
ReplyDeleteUntil the cigarette filter starts to burn, they taste nasty but what was frozen burns like hell and leaves a scar.
DeleteMark, you have reached Nirvana, a state where you forget yourself entirely, and thus, become part of the bigger. Most inspirational, young man. It must be the cold!
ReplyDeleteRosaria there are many names for the paces I walk, but I can only remain in them for so long until I see something that needs saying and no one wants to say it. The beauty is that once one reaches a place, if they are wise they commit the map back to memory. Thank you dear woman--not the cold though.
DeleteSeems the longer our road runs, the fewer will walk it with us.
ReplyDeleteLOL on the frozen ciggy.
Alice "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." I believe this with all of my energy and faith.
DeleteI wrote that about the smoke just as I was going out to have one...it was one of those -10 days. I was at sea in the north Atlantic in February one time and it was -40 and I had to do 20 minutes of outside watch--now that was cold.
It's wonderful to walk in the company of like-minded companions...but sometimes our walks are solitary events interspersed with smoke breaks. :)
ReplyDeleteKim I never walk alone but we do walk in silence a lot, it is the knowing that even in the stillness there is one who cares for you and you for that one that is the comfort.
DeleteAt what temperature might one quit the smokes then? Perhaps that cartoon temperature when you turn into a giant ice cube by stepping outside. (Some people call that Edmonton.)
ReplyDeleteChris i don't know...I have been smoking for more than 50 years and it hasn't been cold enough to find a reason to not smoke yet...but there were a couple of times the rolling didn't go so well because the fingers wouldn't work right. I think it's called any part of the great prairies. Does the wind ever stop?
DeleteYou are an amazing poet, Sir.
ReplyDeleteThank you Cinnamon, you are an amazing friend to have ben reading this stuff for all these years.
DeleteYou nailed it -- both of them. Three cheers ~!
ReplyDeleteThank you Doctor Professor!
DeleteWell....?
ReplyDeleteWas your wife kind enough to pour scalding coffee
on your lip to free it loose?
Loved your Frigid 55
Mark, you are a simple man, with a complicated brain.
Your after thoughts are more complex than most human's ponderings
You are a great gift to us all
Thanks for your great support
Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
Nope she threw the pot outside but it froze and hit me like a brick before any warmth got to me.
DeleteThank you for your kind words Galen. My friend, I am as I have become; nothing much and more than some.
I really like the first one Mark ~ As to the second, my hubby is a smoker and even if its frigid winter cold, he still has to go out and smoke ~ Have a good weekend Mark ~
ReplyDeleteGrace Darling that is the only reason we have more than fig leaves for clothes...so us smokers broomed out of the house by our loving partners, know they won't be widows before we finish our smokes.
DeleteOne time i was so cold when i came back in the wife put me in bed and covered me with every blanket she could find. I was still shivering and asked her to get in with me and her body heat would help warm me...she wouldn't even let one of the dogs get in there with me...wouldn't turn the furnace up either. I survived to smoke another day.
Standing watch, eh?
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
Always Cloudia, one who smokes with eyes closed never sees what he is intended to see,
DeleteOh, the profound beauty of the first! And oh, a huge guffaw for the second, still better than sticking your tongue to a lamppost...
ReplyDeleteBroken heart, maybe but never ever broken spirit, I like that :) ...
ReplyDeleteMeowmomma birds of a smoking feather...
DeleteMark-sometimes we need no words. Companionable silence is nice. Maybe you should try and E Cig. Joann MAY allow that in the house! xo
ReplyDeleteMark, the first one touched me. It is not my death that I fear but the loss of my beautiful wife who is really my touchstone to so much. I see her getting older too. And cannot imagine my life without her.
ReplyDelete…we become more "fine tuned", don't' we? Very moving first piece and the 2nd… well, I laughed but I also knew it was true! I will never understand that kind of addiction or habit… I just HATE cold cold weather.
ReplyDelete