Monday, October 28, 2013


Needle in the belly, dried blood in the veins
inject anger, let it bloat you in the burning sun.
You rage as indifference turns the pages not read,
paper sheets hooded in ignorance stared at
combinations of letters making words you do not understand,
seen but not read; ignorance does not allow new information.

It’s all says the same fucking thing
except one used a dictionary
and the other a thesaurus,
load aim fire, load aim fire, load aim fire—die.

Societies form judgments
depending on which portion of the page
you’re name appears on.
The stories change but the lines that go up the nose
or the needle feeding the rains falling
still are the same as piss in your head
or dehydrated powder in your veins
never change while you sit waiting,
waiting your turn for the juice
spoon cooked or bottle fed,
everything that is wet dehydrates
you are no different,
the rage takes over,
danger becomes a hydrating ally.

Even the old go insane. load aim fire, load aim fire, load aim fire—die

Have no fears you will not miss anything especially your turn
you’re signed up the day you’re born,
permanently signed in when that numbered card is tattooed on your brain.

Enlist in the war on drugs, on class, on wealth, on poverty, on everything
you do not understand unless you’re told to not understand,
for your own good.

Do your dose daily, load aim fire, load aim fire, load aim fire—die.

Every junkie looks for a pass, a smoke, a fag, a cigarette
I don’t hesitate to take the last half buck in their pocket for the loosey
it’s the only tax free anything I’ll ever see as I wander the streets
and roam jungles looking for a place to earn a living
while finding out that no matter what is paid for
it’s not living,
it’s prostitution.

Sell your soul and time
let them put their filthy erecting wetness
anywhere as long as it hydrates the powder in your veins  
anywhere they want as long as you’re earning; so is your master.

And you without stomach for protest, only bitching about “it’
just lay on your belly and work;
until you’re too old to live and too young to die easily
and to loose to give them anymore pleasure in your pain.
load aim fire, load aim fire, load aim fire—die.

You have life but living died a long time ago
Living died when you learned to leave the herd,
become a target for your obstinance
born of those dying all around you,
food for them who rule the law.
load aim fire, load aim fire, load aim fire—die.
Every junky has a nodding dream and every dream’s
a nod to reality that never catches up with the truth.

 Load aim fire, load aim fire, load aim fire—die.
The barrel goes under your chin.

© M Durfee

Woot woot my computer shit the bed. None of my computer nerd associates would take the time to assemble a new one and transfer old info off the old C Drive. Woot Woot they missed out on the $300 I paid in labor I paid a stranger to have one built to my spec. Yes i would have paid them the same i never expect anything for free.


  1. You don't know what it's like until you know what it's like. Bless you, Mark. Love, cat.

    1. Thank you MeowMomma, one does have to have experienced living, even tangentially, to know how to read life

  2. ugh. pain and desperation....desperation only in that there is not foreseeable way out once you are hooked, not one that is not hard as matter the addiction---drugs, oil, money....

    1. For some Brian a hundred rehabs still never shows understanding only frustration and the only willingness left is to die.

  3. It's like a guideline for self destruction. And too many are on that track. Maybe all of us in the end.

    1. Personally Charles I have lost most hope for humane humanity.

  4. Ignorance is only bliss until the sheep reach the slaughterhouse, and "the War on ___" became a stupid phrase in my childhood. Hugs on the computer crapping out.

    1. What i had built is way faster and has 5 fans and most everything backed up transferred OK Alice so it worked out OK. Glad it happened this year because starting 1/1/14 I figure our affordable healthcare if we decide to get it will cost a full 1/2 our after tax income. The war on the middle has been won by the oligarchy,

  5. Well, this was a tough one to read. Yeah, people will always take only what they need from any given situation and then use that and abuse that.

    I'm so sorry about your computer woes. Is it just me or is their built-in obsolescence even shorter these days? Crazy!

    1. Talon, this was a hard one to write just from a craft standpoint, establishing a rhythm without losing the idea behind it of choices made by and forced on us and only being able to guess when the right time to fight is.

  6. Funny but I was thinking of the line, load, aim & fire & behold I read your verse ~ This is gutsy & explosive Mark ~

    Sorry about your computer woes too ~ Have a good week ~

    1. Grace I was reading your mind and made the rest up to fit my hearts feeling, Seriously out in the middle of the sea of confusion we sail or sink we have to choose and most choices no matter the intent lead to the last line or thoughts of it anyway.

  7. Oh Lord, if this isn't the modern anthem!

    1. Rosaria I take that as technically as a great compliment and an understanding of all we are faced by and at times lost in without escape.

  8. The new computer is cool. 5 fans, a terabyte of memory and NO preloaded factory crap to slow it down. Thanks for your good wishes on that.

  9. Glad that you got a new computer up and going. Man, I am not a hard ware dude. I know how to run them but not build them.

    I had a conversation with a woman the other night who has no concept about protesting. Glad that I got to do some of that back in the day.

  10. Mark-happy about your new computer. Now we can all continue to be blessed with your insight. xo


So Walking Man I was thinking...