Wednesday, September 11, 2013

PROSE sort of.



 LIFE’S LITTLE EPITAPH IN RHYTHM

It’s late, beyond the middle of the night when half the world is yet dreaming dreams, visions of strange scenes in which they are turned from actors on a stage in street clothes to every unimaginable awake scene hoping to conquer and win depending on the subconscious storyline written while you were breathing in the daylight trying to make a way through madness’ flight.

I wonder do you hear it, do you hear time passing as it comes for you riding the horse of dawn. That moment when day caresses your face and you hope you’re waking up to rejoin again the human race not finding yourself in some strange place you yawn your way into hoping that the dream is over and that it’s not your scream you hear as the light approaches you, or is it you going to it?

Death is a scary moment for them not prepared for when you do finally wake to find you’ve left all you knew behind. Then I wonder what thoughts will run through your mind? Will it be which religion was right and are you hoping that you got that shit straight or will you wake to find that you don’t care anymore because there is no structure of belief beyond that final dawn’s door?

Is it where the reality you sought as you dreamt your way through the night called life has finally come and nothing is as you thought? Will your words and wisdom protect you from the direction you wasted time fearing when you realize it is no dream, you really have no super hero or even workman’s clothes of protection to hide in, not even leaves like they had at the tales beginning?

Fortunate are the few who have no dreams left to live the night through. Those that nightly fall and die and mourn their waking to what they left behind, again, another day trapped in the same place, the same world of wishes that never come true, and the same fears filling a frightened mind. Always the same hypocrisy and the same lie that refuses to die; that everything’s going to be fine but never again in your life time.

Do you hear the screams of big screen Hollywood’s worst night mare coming for you until you change the channel? Do you even know what you fear or are you one of the many that must be told once life is lost; it becomes precious, dear to someone near? I have a suggestion to answer your question. Might it not be best to attach yourself, sir, to this place with only the organs held inside your body and nothing else? In ignorance and fear there is no other music you’ll know but a dirge.

This physical place ever in a constant state of motion, commotion, turmoil, anger and, war does it deserve anything more, your love, your trust, compassion, your spent passions to document a life that at best is ending later rather than sooner because you may find that once you’re gone isn’t anyone left after an hour or two who really cares or gives a damn. There is always that half in their black designer show ‘em off suits who’ll will be telling the other half you were truly a good person, memorable except you were a prostitute for something you truly believed in but were a fool for doing so and a tool of those more powerful than you. “It’s all class warfare you know and he lost.”

And that memorial game is your fifteen minutes of fame while everyone else of course really are concerned compassionate people bleeding tears over your perfumed and polished corpse until it is them that death calls to for the time of dying. Those are the ones who go kicking and screaming as they go on and ever on about how unfair living a limited life is on a Lear jet.

Better again I say to sleep away the night in unknowing unseeing darkness and regret only waking to the same hypocrisy you had the chance to leave behind before you went to sleep yesterday. Better it be to leave this planet to them to afraid to explore the nights magic and never come back out of darkness’ box rather than listen to the lies told you again that earth is hell or heaven. It’s neither just one fucked up place that was left you by them who moved off towards the screaming visions to sleep with no dawn to wake them. Again.

© M Durfee
9/11/13

Of course it’s hard not to know that this is the anniversary of the mass murder of 2977 known innocents of every kind, color, nationality and creed and 19 more radical Wahabi Muslims, which really isn’t fair to islam to name them such but that is where bin Laden learned his hatred at; the Wahabi  mosques of Saudi Arabia, the home of that particular form of radicalism.

Though they are included in this question and answer piece of prose it is NOT specifically about those 2996 souls taken from the earth that day. I have a more specific reason for this writing, as ever to try to get everyone to face the greatest fear of humanity, death, and live free here now while you can, for no one knows if they will wake on the morrow.

No one knows. I am sad for them who watch frightening movies to get an adrenalin rush and an evil vision of a natural order of life, and those preppers who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars that they might survive a catastrophe. Thinking they would have a blank canvas to repopulate the planet on. I don’t find this theory or reality funny but I do find it peculiar that some are willing to kill other survivors that they might have a month’s more food on their bug out shelves.

I am also spurred on by the recall on 9/10/13 of two Colorado senators who supported tighter background checks on gun sales and extended ammo clips because of the Aurora theater murders and the Sandyhook elementary school mass murders.

This, all of it, is madness writ large and running wild.  I wish I could make the words in front of you run as fast as we are spinning out of control and losing concern and care for one another. Many ask what have we become? That question has a simple answer. We have become more afraid of living than ever before, which makes us oddly enough even more afraid of dying. I can love you, I can write it a hundred thousand times yet few would know what I meant by those three words and that is sad too.  

I write to you because I love you.

mark

16 comments:

  1. Extremely well written. And we can follow the terrors of this hell, at least part way.

    But I'd agree with old Borges that yes, there is all that hellscape. But in the morning we are born again.

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    1. Until that one day when we are not Ivan. Maybe mortal reality is a reflection of current immortality?

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  2. fortunate are those that no longer have dreams...that is a scary line for me and a reality i dont want to accept....this is a hard world in which we live where terror is the one thing that shakes us up....look at how we impose terror on others...we call it something else to make ourselves feel better....give it a line like shock n awe...but...more afraid of living...true...

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    1. Brian I do not dream when asleep and there is nothing more i want from life to dream about achieving. But yes when you speak of "we" the collective of humanity, terror is one of the ways of control. Be it blowing up buses, shooting rockets or simply making mankind fear itself. It all works for the good of them who will give you your 15 minutes in memorium, when you are no longer a threat.

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  3. I refuse to participate. Count me among the ignorant. Don't worry, be happy!

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    1. Ahhh the multitude responds; finally with one voice!

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  4. There's a different reason I watch horror movies. They don't really scare me. It's more of the coolness factor for me. I'd have to write an essay to explain that probably.

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    1. With people like you Charles i guess they have a motivational, relaxing factor to them. Personally for me, I find that I can not suspend my belief enough to watch most of them without laughing.

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  5. i want to write to you because death is coming closer to me at age seventy two and i don't want to die without trying at my present religion HARDER<><><>you see i believe i have the correct, right religion<><><>usin mormons, and yet i feel i haven't tried hard enough, and i am afraid to die and tell my lord and savior that very FACT><<>so what do you think???

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  6. Mark, I dream while awake and sleep dreamlessly. Horror movies have scared the hell out of me forever and are the only thing that gives me bad dreams. That and pizza before bed!

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    1. I told you anchovies counteract the bad dream effect Jodi!

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  7. Will be back to read this with my after dinner decaf. :)

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  8. The power of those three small words has been lost in translation, I'm afraid. More afraid of living...more afraid of dying...all too true. Never been a fan of horror flicks. Never understood the need to be scared out of my mind by something fictional when reality has more horror than a human can handle.

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  9. I am always taken aback at the comfort that the left find, or seem to find, in the myths preached at the funerals. They hope for the same result: even the dogs run around there in the happy heaven.

    Is a world better, or more surprising than this one even possible?

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  10. I am definitely not afraid of living and am doing more of it now than in many years. In fact, I love living. As for the death of so many on 9/11 and the terror of that--I can't imagine it. And I am weary of it actually. Time to be in the present and get to living this day. Nor forgetting but moving forward.

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So Walking Man I was thinking...