WORTH OF VALUE

All the devils have been un-caged and no one wonders why I sit disengaged, disconnected and not giving a crap about it all. Presidents, Parliaments and councils all make their backroom deals and say they will let us live free while in truth they know that if they can trick you enough you’ll put yourself in a cage and then the zoo becomes free cause you’re the dirty animal in it. Starving. Now the academic panderers who study such things say a little methane in your water won’t hurt you anymore than the carbon in your air.

So what if the chemo takes away your hair, the creative cookies will take away your pain and cares until you die left too impotent to wonder why at 29 your bald head is dead. Just don’t come knocking at my door,  my porch ain’t a stage 4 your pain and my wallet has been taxed as a home for moths which fly out every now and then to purchase some more of everything that never mattered anyway. What good is food to masticate if its intent is to devastate your organs with no monkey dancing along with the grinder?

40ounces walking down the street with the skinny guy in the tank top his single muscle bulging because he just beat his wife at the party on the front lawn which goes on until dawn no neighbors are involved with cops rolling by, who seeing no crime to be solved they parked in the dark and stole a nap. Two sisters baby mamas can’t live without the thrill of party drama and love daddy who monthly comes round to collect his gift of pussy, beer and SNAP card pay while everyone sponges off granny who lets her world revolve around a milk crate seat in the sun even when it snows because her house is so full it ain’t her home no more if it ever were.

Stand by me said he to her as she shanked him right in the heart “Love” she said “won’t make me rich you ignorant son of a bitch. You’re unemployed, no home, not worth shit” She took his cash as he bled out on the sidewalk and she ran to free her ass with a richer man than he. Naked I bleed while they put the cuffs on me just to see if I would bother to fight back but I was in the world as I was born and had nothing worth arguing about as they sticked me across the face to put me in my place and maced me to ensure there was nothing I could see; as if there was anyway.

Switching lanes has become a dangerous game as rage is out there driving washed and waxed urban chariots that seem to own it all, a bullet in the head for the old man who drives to slow because money always knows the right to steal a life. No matter the condition the lookout better not fall asleep when the repo man comes to take that customized piece of rolling shit away. Maybe mom’s van ain’t so cool anymore but it can still be stolen for a payment to get that repo’ed noise makin’ piece of crap back.

Mom needs the exercise walking to the bus stop anyway because sonny boy ain’t lifting his pillowed head or getting his important ass out of bed to ensure she is safe anyway. The bites of bedbugs don’t bother him as long as there is a stupid virgin child he can play for reproduction rights, she can handle his bits, lies and, bites she knows she is good for him until he impregnates her while stoking the fire of his gun fueled bravery on the road of illiterate knowing he won’t never be no more poor, that’s a suckers game. Prison ain’t no shame, gotta get schooled some way all the same. Education is the name of the criminal game. Stripes or ties thieven’ is theiven’, it’s all the same.

Smile for a while until your turn comes to be staked out under the sun with the fire ants feasting on your living brain that television flushed down the drain before it ever had a chance to grow to a place where you know nothing can be called truth anymore. Everyone whores themselves out for something and not knowing that nothing is something in the shack built world that we all have come to love to live in.

And all the holy men who this way came sit on the moon and watch from its never turning face to see we are a waste, bound by disgrace of the choices we collectively made. Jesus came back already and took a look around and wondered why was it again he had to die before he walked away from an insanity that never changed  and no one wonders why I sit alone, smoking a cigarette waiting to die, disengaged, disconnected and not giving a crap about it all anyway.

© M Durfee

6/25/13