LIVING LIFE ON NO ONES TERMS BUT MY OWN

We find the reasons for our actions as we look at the ways of others. Not logical, not moral, none of someone else’s choices are worth a damn from the spirit held in the soul of any lone man. I find my way and gladly take responsibility for actions I’ve undertaken and I do not know how to run for cover under another. Be the onslaught tempest or weak storm, either or is of little consequence. It matters nothing at all if I can not stand face to face against it on my own, straight and tall, no pretence. The hand of another, never to be shunned or discarded is normally a wonder filled event, yet at the time of trouble it comes to me that it is not heaven sent. Hell may have me be dragging that helpful friend down onto the slippery slope of slimy shit with me. And though they may be more than willing and a wanting to go, I every time will say no. For when that kindness is gone horribly wrong there is the basis of regret and eventual hate, then loathing grown strong. I can stand in this barren land alone. Stand aside leave me be to face my own fate. And then when finally comes the date under skies light and cloudless or cold, damned wet and gray, when I am finally lowered down into the dark bottomed pit, all I ever want is one to say “The Son of a Bitch had a Life and He fucking Lived It!”

© M Durfee

1/14/12